The Battle of Changing

I can say nothing but, "Wow!" at the past month. I have been given so much. A new someone very special to me. An encourager; someone to make me laugh. Someone to challenge me, and someone to help me grow both emotionally and spiritually. She has inadvertently caused me to grow up and think why I do the things I do. It has been such a blessing and I cannot praise God enough for allowing our paths to cross. Along with her has come me going back to school.

Wow, what a challenge that has been. My mind has been stretched that is for sure. I am taking four classes. The two that have been the biggest challenge to me are Psychology and Philosophy. Going into Philosophy I thought I had all the answers, and I guess if I think about it I do. I have scripture, but the problem lies when someone does not want to listen. That has been a rough one to tackle. I guess it has been a slap in the face to the manner of "Is this what God feels like when we do something stupid and He says, I know, I could have stopped that only if you would have listened?". Whoa. That made me take a step back. The Philosophy class has brought up many tough topics. Where did this universe come from? Is Jesus, God? Why is there suffering if God really loves us? All ridiculously hard questions to answer. I get that. But it has pushed my faith - in a good way.

That fact that I have been learning the most about is God never changes. In any manner, God stays the same. He loves and He is gracious. He knows all and He promises to enlighten us to the needed steps for our journey. He is transparent to those who seek. He gave Himself for us yet hates and despises sin. He is so many things, and different in so many ways as well, but yet He stays the same. Sure, it sounds elementary in the Christian faith. I'm sure most Christians have come to realize this and accept it, but have we allowed it to shape us? Do we let that change us, daily? This topic is still unpacking in my mind so bear with me as I try and put it into words here. My math teacher always told me that if I couldn't understand a concept with big numbers to try the same concept with smaller numbers. So, before we dive into big life challenges, lets first look at smaller, daily, ones.

We have all had people in our lives that tend to rub us the wrong way. People that seem to get on our nerves. Sure, there are days we just feel like blowing up on them and giving them a piece of our minds. We've all been there and I'm not here to point fingers. I've done it too. I'm not going to just chalk it up to our human nature and write it off as such. That isn't correct either. Many of you know that I believe we choose our reactions and ought to be held accountable for them. So, in my mind at least, you cannot blame your frustrating day on anyone but yourself. But sure, there are times in life that just get us down. I understand that. But the key is, how do we react and who do we look to?

It is my belief that Jesus is the perfect example of how to handle every situation that can arise in this lifetime. He let who God was shape who He was. He allowed what God had for His life shape His actions and reactions to issues. Jesus was all powerful and could do anything He would have wanted to do, still He sought direction from His Father. He humbled Himself and prayed and allowed what God showed of Himself to change His (Jesus) actions. Yet for some reason we hold ourselves to a lower standard. Partly because we fail to see how great our God is and because I truly believe we do not want to be held to that high of a standard. We seem to see Jesus as a person who could obtain an understanding about things we cannot. Could He understand things about God that we cannot? In some ways yes, because of He was God in a form and He knew all things. But, He was still 100% human. Have we forgotten that or do we choose to forget that? That thought changes many things in my mind.

Because of the way Jesus lived His life as a human, we see both problems and victories handled correctly. We see what it takes to overcome a difficult time. We see a human, and I ought to add the God of the universe, taken through a horrid human life, beaten, broken, and rejected. He was rejected by all. Yes Christian's, He was beaten, broken, and rejected by those who claimed to love Him and know Him the best - Believers. (If I really want to get picky I would say He was beaten, broken, and rejected by us; by you and me, and even more picky, His Father, just read Isaiah 53.) With the life of Jesus being portrayed for us in Scripture, we see how to handle a time when someone we work with, live with, or love, frustrates us. What do we do when they turn their backs on us and falsely accuse us of something we never did? Do we lash out at them and write them off? Did Christ do that when He encountered the same type of situation? No. He quietly pointed the accusers attention back to Himself and His Father. He allowed that to change the hearts of those willing. It should do the same to us today as it takes a knowledge of God and an allowance of that knowledge to change us in that time.

Let us take this another step deeper. We all know that God hates sin. He, in some perfect, fully justifiable manner, despises it and will judge accordingly some day. Yet with the same amount of passion that He has against sin, I believe He loves fixing it. I don't know about you, but as a kid when I did something wrong and got caught the first thought in my mind was not to run to my parents and talk with them. I wanted to get away. I didn't want to be in the same room as them because I knew I had let them down and had wronged them. I am pretty sure if we are honest we do the same thing with Jesus. We run from the only one Who can repair us. The question here then is, why do we run away? It all goes back to the lack of knowledge that we have about God. If we really knew God and allowed Who He is to change us, I believe we would run to Him not away. He loves communion with us. (Is that not apparent by the cross?) And because of that desire to commune with us, He loves restoring us. So then where does the problem lie in a broken relationship with God? On our side.

This is my point. Frustrating things happen. I am not a person who believes that once you are a Christian life is all peachy and easy. That is an ultra false statement. God never promises that. Many people use that fact against the Christian faith. But I use it as a challenge. I remember thinking about all the things that God promises to us when we encounter a difficult time. Grace, love, strength, wisdom, etc. All of those things are Who He is. He doesn't give us those things, He gives us Himself. Why? Ooo. Excellent question. Because God knows He is all we need. He needs nothing other than Himself to prove, in full, that He is perfect and completely sustaining to all of our needs. Would He be all-powerful if He used anything but Himself to provide for our needs? Nope. He gives us Himself in times of need and hardship.

So where does that leave us? At least to me, it leaves me with a challenge. Do I know enough about my God to run to Him at all times. Not out of fear but out of faith. Faith in what I know about Him. He loves me and because He loves me, He will restore me. He died for me because He loves me. He longs to know me. He wants to cleanse me once again and commune with me. If that is the case and I do sin and I run, do I understand that the only thing holding me back from a perfect relationship with God is me? He is always open and gracious towards me. I am the one that shuts the door and locks it. His job is knocking, my job is opening it. I must do the hard work. I must be made the vulnerable one because it isn't until that point that we see how great our God is. God is consistent and that is an amazing thing! But in this realm, the one of sin in our life and hardships, it is a daunting thing. We see that we are the one that must change in order for things to be restored. We must come humbled and broken before an Almighty God to receive forgiveness. There are times that I wish that process of humbling myself was easier. I think we all do. But it is at that moment of being fully humbled that we see still that God has yet to change. He is still just as loving as before. His arms are still open and His love still ever-sustaining. He refines us. It's not the other way around and I'm thankful for that. It's because of that steady fact that I can rest in all other characteristics of God.

So do we have enough knowledge about our God to run to Him at all times and be changed? The good and the bad! But even more so, do we have enough faith to, not ask God to change the situation, but ask God to change us? He knows what is best. He knows that He is best. But do we know and accept that He is best?