My Anxiousness or God's Glory

 Anxiousness: Experiencing worry, unease, or nervousness, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome

This topic of anxiousness has been an interesting one for me to unpack over these past couple of weeks. Seemingly in my readings it has been a reoccurring theme. I have never been one to be horribly nervous about a particular situation, but there have been times when I have not leaned on God like I should and that thought has been a rebuke to me. The book I have started to read is a simple walk through of the 23rd Psalm. It is probably one of the most well known passages of Scripture and the author of that book, Tony Evans, is clear to point out that there is not a single problem in life that the 23rd Psalm does not cover. It is relevant to all because we ought to handle every situation the same. Lets focus our attention on a big issue, anxiousness, and see how Psalm 23 can help us with it. 

Scripture is very clear about the problem of anxiousness. Jesus, is very clear in His teaching about anxiousness. What does He say? Simple, in Matthew 6:25 Jesus is speaking and says, "Do not be anxious about your life..." Seems pretty clean cut to me, right? He doesn't suggest that we not be anxious. He states, do not be anxious. He then lists a few things that people are worried about in life. Food, drink, and clothes. I am pretty sure we would all agree those things are pretty important. Yet, He says in all of these things, do not be anxious. Thankfully, having lived in a country were food is easy to come by; I've never really had to worry about it. The same applies for water and clothes. But, as the passage continues Jesus reminds us that the birds do not worry about the food for tomorrow. As He does often in His teachings, He relates big issues to smaller concepts in hopes that we can better understand them. 

Jesus convicts those listening, and now us reading, in saying that even birds do not worry about tomorrow. They simply go about the days activities just doing what needs to be done. In some ways not having a concept of tomorrow, such as birds, would nice. But, God did give us a concept of tomorrow. But along with that, He gave us a concept about Him and what He has to offer that is greater than tomorrow. But we will get to that later.

Jesus comforts us after convicting us with the analogy about birds in saying, “Are you not of more value than they?” The lilies of the field, the birds, the animals, everything non-human will die here on this earth – even the earth itself will burn. Yet, God still cares and provides everything needed. He states right here in this passage that we mean more to Him than all of these things! Yet still, we doubt, we worry, we're anxious. 

So why then do we worry? Why are we anxious? Pride. Yes, our old never dying foe – pride. Mahaney puts it this way:“Where there's worry, where there's anxiousness, pride is at the root of it. When I am experiencing anxiety, the root issue is that I'm trying to be self-sufficient. I'm acting independent of God.” You may say Nathan, how is me being in the “depths of despair”, as Anne of Green Gables would say it, an issue of pride? Mahaney addresses that – anxiety comes from trying to be self-sufficient, and being self-sufficient is being prideful. God has designed us in that we do not need just a little bit of Him but all of Him. Anything less than that is hard, stressful, and will cause anxiousness. 

 

So we know how prideful we can be as humans. We know how weak we are and how strong our God is to provide for us. (And how He wants to do so!) But I think we should stop and think about Psalm 23 once again especially verse 1, while thinking about anxiousness and pride: “The Lord is my Shepard; I shall not want.” Once again, Scripture is clear here, through David's writings, I shall not want. I tend to think of this as the imperative statement – I will not want. Why? David answers that, the Lord is my Shepard. That is the key to all of this! Jesus must be our Shepherd. We must realize our place in the relationship. We cannot see what tomorrow will hold, but our Shepherd can. We cannot deal with the elements of the world we live in, but our Shepherd can. And there will be times when we cannot feed ourselves, but our Shepherd can! If He is not our Shepard, if He is not guiding us: we will want. We will search for things to fill the void that only He can fill. When we are self-sufficient, we will want.

 

God, as any good Shepherd does, realizes that we will stray and search for our own way. So what does He do? David answers that within the same verse: “He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me by still waters.” God makes us lie down. He takes us to a point where we can do nothing but crumble and then He makes us lie down. Let's face it, who wants to lie down? (be humbled) Remember, we're sheep – we're stupid. So God, as our good shepherd, takes our lives into His hands and makes us obey. He makes us do what we should have done all along when trials arise – rest within His care. He knows He is what we need. We don't need Xanax, we don't need alcohol. We don't our friends or even family. We need Jesus. Are we quiet enough to realize that?

After God makes us lie down in green pastures, David says, and he chooses his words carefully, “He restores my soul...for His name sake”! Once again there is the big picture – God > me. This whole process is God's doing because He knows that from it He will be glorified. 

So that takes me to my final thought – is how you are handling a situation glorifying God or taking from His glory? How can you tell them apart within your own life? Simple, really. Who are you running to first? We all know God is a jealous God. How He works all His ways around that perfectly and without sin, I haven't the foggiest. But He does. God wants to give us the peace, and ultimately victory in a situation so that He receives the glory. Do we see each trial and difficulty that way? Or do we strive to fix the situation so we are not harmed or hurt? Are we spiritually mature enough to see that in our despair God can be glorified? 

There are a lot of questions that have been asked here. But I truly believe you must take a step back during a hard situation, and one will arise, and ask God for the mind set that would allow Him to receive the most glory. Oh how that would change our perspective! It can be applied to every situation: school, work, relationships, families, even strangers that you meet during the day. In everything God ought to receive the glory. However if we are anxious about the situation we have taken our vantage point off of God and placed it onto ourselves. That must be changed. When you begin to see that God is in all things, and all things are because of Him, your perspective changes. And that is such a beautiful thing. 

I encourage you all to do a study, or take some time to look up what a shepherd does. Think of yourself as sheep, and look that up as well, and God as your shepherd - your day to day life will change. I promise.

Oh to Dwell and Never Leave!

A blog entry I started while waiting to leave the airport and finished today. So if my grammar 'tenses' change, that is why.

Well, here I am sitting in the airport waiting for my flight to leave to go back home. I have many mixed feelings, none of which are regrets. Just sad at times and excited at others. These last four days have shown me many things. Things I need to work on and things that for so long I've doubted. Some of which are personal but mostly spiritually.

The underlying theme of the last several weeks, well about a month, has been how amazing my God is. To say He cares, is great! To say He provides for His children is a great thing as well. But, to ask of Him things that only He can do, and have those things answered, was just mind blowing to me. Matthew 7:7 says “Ask, and it shall be given to you...”, now I've known this verse for years, almost my entire life, but to ask and have it given to you time after time was so encouraging this week; so humbling.

My plans for coming up to Wisconsin came together extremely quickly – within a matter of a few days. Funds weren't in big amounts but it happened that I received a large amount back from taxes. Rooms that were needed for staying up here, were available. A rental car was very affordable and time to spend together with people up here, opened up. The weather was beautiful as were the people I visited. All the little things seemed to fit together.

God is a big God. He can do all things yet for some reason I never trusted Him for the little things. “How foolish am I for not trusting Him for the little things!”... was my thought on the drive to the airport this morning. He wants to provide; He wants my heart to ask Him. I've called Jesus, Father, as I'm sure many of you have, but I think I had yet to claim Him as such. The word Father has several meanings, one of which reached out to me: Father – one who adopts a child. Yup that is me. A forsaken child in need of a guide and Jesus adopted me. I'm just being honest here. Now before you think I'm going all wonky here let me explain.

Jesus knows that in life He is what I need. I have begun to accept that this week and allowed that to change my life. The week came full circle, in a sense, this morning on my drive when a song came across my iPhone called At Your Feet by Casting Crowns:

Here at Your feet I lay this day down
Not in my strength but in Yours I've found
All I need, You're all I need

Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
Oh, to dwell and never leave
Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
There is nowhere else for me

The song hit me hard in the car but nearly as hard as it hit while on the plane. I was reading Humility, during the flight, while listening to this song. I came across the part of the book about Spiritual Disciplines. Things that we can do to overcome pride and “grow” humility. Little did I know that the next passage would have such an impact on me. Mahaney writes:

“Cast your cares upon Him. The apostle Peter clearly and practically describes for us how we can humble ourselves daily in 1 Peter 5:6-7. First he writes, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God.” Then he (Peter) shows us how: “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” When we humble ourselves each morning by casting all our cares on the Lord, we will start the day free of care. The humble are genuinely care free.”

That paragraph broke my heart. The practice of me “casting my cares upon the Lord” is not necessarily so He can bare them for me, but so I realize where my strength and guidance is truly coming from. If we cast our cares on the Lord, out of a hope that He will bare them for us, we immediately put ourselves above Him in a manner of thought. We say “We should not have to bear this, but He should. Hey He's God, right?” Sure, that's a blunt statement. But I would imagine that most of us have thought that at some point. I know I have.

So, with that thought in mind I go back to the song lyrics that I posted above. The daily discipline of laying down our day, our hopes for the day, our future dreams, at the feet of Jesus, we don't lose things. We gain peace! I've never understood why someone would want to fret about the day – yet Jesus knows that anxiety is very prevalent. Anxiety, writes Mahaney, the root issue is that one is trying to be self-sufficient; acting independent of God. That pretty well sums it up if you ask me. When we rely on anything, or anyone, but Jesus, we experience anxiousness. My hearts cry is to dwell at the feet of Jesus and never leave. I've tried dealing with things on my own and it has failed. I've relied on other people and they have failed. But Jesus has yet to fail me.

This weekend has taught me so much. God asks for all of me. That includes my faith in Him that He will control the little things. Why would I trust God for the big things in life, such as college, a wife, a home, and career, but not for a peaceful day of work and classes. Why do I ask him to heal sick people but not the money to fix my window in my car? Why do I ask Him to save a friend but not help me with my pride.

God wants to provide for me!

I just need to humble myself and with a heart of faith, ask. The girl that I visited while up in Wisconsin had a saying in her kitchen that read: “Faith is not believing that God can but that He will.” What an interesting view on faith. It changes our perspective for sure when we put that saying into practice.

So to sum all of this up I say this, ask God for the little things. Not only will it breed a humble heart but it will be an encouragement to you to see Him working in every area of your life. Also, be in constant communication with Him. Feel yourself becoming burdened at work or class, or just in daily life? Humble yourself and cast it upon the Lord out of faith that He will provide what is best. Because He is good; because He loves you.

He knew and still continued His walk....

I am currently sitting in Watertown, Wisconsin. A smaller town in Wisconsin where there are more cows and 25mph speed limit signs than almost any other place I have been before. You may ask, why am I here? That is a good question however, it is a question for another blog. :)

Yesterday I grabbed a flight from Kansas City to Milwaukee than drove the remaining distance to Watertown. There is not much to do on a flight since for some reason man has still yet to figure out how to make cell phones work at 30,000ft. Baffles me - but I'll move on. So I pulled out my trusty iPad and began to read a book that I started over a year ago and never finished: Humility by CJ Mahaney. Now many of you know that I am not a fan of reading but Mahaney's books have been some of the few that I have finished. He is an amazing author and not afraid to say what needs to be said. His books have seemed different to me. They do not tell me "this is how you must live to be a good Christian!". But rather, "Look to Jesus and let Who He is shape your life." I guess this post is a continuing spur from the previous post about the Character of God but it is so applicable to every area of my life that it has been in my thought's almost continuously.

Mahaney focuses on two things in this book: Jesus and the cross. Honestly - what more should we focus on?

The Cross a place for the lowest of criminals to be slain, back in Roman Empire time. Known for it's excruciating, painful, slow killing process, it was the place where my Lord the sinless man and King of all things, Jesus, died. Mahaney depicts the journey of Jesus, to Calvary, as Jesus leading the way with His disciples following. Now, let's be real here. Imagine you would know that you were going to be deceived and turned into the government, for a crime that you did not commit, by someone who said they cared about you and wished to learn from you, in a certain city. Add on top you would be slain for the every crime and wrong doing of every person who has ever lived and will ever live on this planet, knowing that you have done no wrong. Would you be "leading the pack" of people, one of which would be the deceiver who would turn you over? Would you be gracious and kind to them, or would you coward away and run? This thought blew my mind. Jesus had known from eternity past what those next hours would be like and feel like. He knew exactly how they would unfold and how hard they would be. He knew no one would understand what His pain would be like. He knew His own Father would execute Him for the sins of the world by the people that He Himself created and loves....and yet, Jesus continued His walk toward Calvary. As Mahaney puts it: "Jesus walked; Where? To Calvary. Why? To die."

I feel as if once again, I have taken for granted the cross. I'm pretty sure I freaked the lady out next to me yesterday on the plane when I teared up. Thank goodness for the complimentary cookie on the flight, or else I would not have had a napkin to shyishly wipe away the few tears. But I digress. Jesus did not go into His death unknowingly. He knew all, yet He chose to allow it to happen. Because He loves me. He did not chose the easy way out. He did not chose an easy death. He endured ALL of the wrath of sin that His Father would inflict for all sins in a matter of a few hours.

CJ's point in bringing up the cross in this book is twofold. Number one - because as redeemed Christians, the cross changed us. It made us new. It completed us. The death that happened there brought us life and forever in all time that will continue to change us. Always for the better I must add. It was there that we found our Savior and Lord. It was there that I found my Best Friend for times of joy, and a Comfort in times of difficulty. I am forever indebted to the one that paid a debt that was not His to pay.

Secondly, and lastly, at the Cross we see the ultimate example of Someone being a servant. Someone who was completely humble. Once again I go back to my previous blog post, Jesus is the perfect example of everything. Jesus was the ultimate example of humility. He needs only Himself to show us how we ought to be in life in all areas. That cool isn't? Sometimes we need music to express our mood or actions in a relationship to prove our love toward someone. But Jesus doesn't. All He needs is Himself and all we have to do is look with an open heart and mind. He will show us.

I highly recommend this book. It's pretty cheap and an amazing read. Probably one you will read over and over again. The idea is simple: Jesus and the Cross, the depth of those topics are for a lifetimes journey of finding out!

The Battle of Changing

I can say nothing but, "Wow!" at the past month. I have been given so much. A new someone very special to me. An encourager; someone to make me laugh. Someone to challenge me, and someone to help me grow both emotionally and spiritually. She has inadvertently caused me to grow up and think why I do the things I do. It has been such a blessing and I cannot praise God enough for allowing our paths to cross. Along with her has come me going back to school.

Wow, what a challenge that has been. My mind has been stretched that is for sure. I am taking four classes. The two that have been the biggest challenge to me are Psychology and Philosophy. Going into Philosophy I thought I had all the answers, and I guess if I think about it I do. I have scripture, but the problem lies when someone does not want to listen. That has been a rough one to tackle. I guess it has been a slap in the face to the manner of "Is this what God feels like when we do something stupid and He says, I know, I could have stopped that only if you would have listened?". Whoa. That made me take a step back. The Philosophy class has brought up many tough topics. Where did this universe come from? Is Jesus, God? Why is there suffering if God really loves us? All ridiculously hard questions to answer. I get that. But it has pushed my faith - in a good way.

That fact that I have been learning the most about is God never changes. In any manner, God stays the same. He loves and He is gracious. He knows all and He promises to enlighten us to the needed steps for our journey. He is transparent to those who seek. He gave Himself for us yet hates and despises sin. He is so many things, and different in so many ways as well, but yet He stays the same. Sure, it sounds elementary in the Christian faith. I'm sure most Christians have come to realize this and accept it, but have we allowed it to shape us? Do we let that change us, daily? This topic is still unpacking in my mind so bear with me as I try and put it into words here. My math teacher always told me that if I couldn't understand a concept with big numbers to try the same concept with smaller numbers. So, before we dive into big life challenges, lets first look at smaller, daily, ones.

We have all had people in our lives that tend to rub us the wrong way. People that seem to get on our nerves. Sure, there are days we just feel like blowing up on them and giving them a piece of our minds. We've all been there and I'm not here to point fingers. I've done it too. I'm not going to just chalk it up to our human nature and write it off as such. That isn't correct either. Many of you know that I believe we choose our reactions and ought to be held accountable for them. So, in my mind at least, you cannot blame your frustrating day on anyone but yourself. But sure, there are times in life that just get us down. I understand that. But the key is, how do we react and who do we look to?

It is my belief that Jesus is the perfect example of how to handle every situation that can arise in this lifetime. He let who God was shape who He was. He allowed what God had for His life shape His actions and reactions to issues. Jesus was all powerful and could do anything He would have wanted to do, still He sought direction from His Father. He humbled Himself and prayed and allowed what God showed of Himself to change His (Jesus) actions. Yet for some reason we hold ourselves to a lower standard. Partly because we fail to see how great our God is and because I truly believe we do not want to be held to that high of a standard. We seem to see Jesus as a person who could obtain an understanding about things we cannot. Could He understand things about God that we cannot? In some ways yes, because of He was God in a form and He knew all things. But, He was still 100% human. Have we forgotten that or do we choose to forget that? That thought changes many things in my mind.

Because of the way Jesus lived His life as a human, we see both problems and victories handled correctly. We see what it takes to overcome a difficult time. We see a human, and I ought to add the God of the universe, taken through a horrid human life, beaten, broken, and rejected. He was rejected by all. Yes Christian's, He was beaten, broken, and rejected by those who claimed to love Him and know Him the best - Believers. (If I really want to get picky I would say He was beaten, broken, and rejected by us; by you and me, and even more picky, His Father, just read Isaiah 53.) With the life of Jesus being portrayed for us in Scripture, we see how to handle a time when someone we work with, live with, or love, frustrates us. What do we do when they turn their backs on us and falsely accuse us of something we never did? Do we lash out at them and write them off? Did Christ do that when He encountered the same type of situation? No. He quietly pointed the accusers attention back to Himself and His Father. He allowed that to change the hearts of those willing. It should do the same to us today as it takes a knowledge of God and an allowance of that knowledge to change us in that time.

Let us take this another step deeper. We all know that God hates sin. He, in some perfect, fully justifiable manner, despises it and will judge accordingly some day. Yet with the same amount of passion that He has against sin, I believe He loves fixing it. I don't know about you, but as a kid when I did something wrong and got caught the first thought in my mind was not to run to my parents and talk with them. I wanted to get away. I didn't want to be in the same room as them because I knew I had let them down and had wronged them. I am pretty sure if we are honest we do the same thing with Jesus. We run from the only one Who can repair us. The question here then is, why do we run away? It all goes back to the lack of knowledge that we have about God. If we really knew God and allowed Who He is to change us, I believe we would run to Him not away. He loves communion with us. (Is that not apparent by the cross?) And because of that desire to commune with us, He loves restoring us. So then where does the problem lie in a broken relationship with God? On our side.

This is my point. Frustrating things happen. I am not a person who believes that once you are a Christian life is all peachy and easy. That is an ultra false statement. God never promises that. Many people use that fact against the Christian faith. But I use it as a challenge. I remember thinking about all the things that God promises to us when we encounter a difficult time. Grace, love, strength, wisdom, etc. All of those things are Who He is. He doesn't give us those things, He gives us Himself. Why? Ooo. Excellent question. Because God knows He is all we need. He needs nothing other than Himself to prove, in full, that He is perfect and completely sustaining to all of our needs. Would He be all-powerful if He used anything but Himself to provide for our needs? Nope. He gives us Himself in times of need and hardship.

So where does that leave us? At least to me, it leaves me with a challenge. Do I know enough about my God to run to Him at all times. Not out of fear but out of faith. Faith in what I know about Him. He loves me and because He loves me, He will restore me. He died for me because He loves me. He longs to know me. He wants to cleanse me once again and commune with me. If that is the case and I do sin and I run, do I understand that the only thing holding me back from a perfect relationship with God is me? He is always open and gracious towards me. I am the one that shuts the door and locks it. His job is knocking, my job is opening it. I must do the hard work. I must be made the vulnerable one because it isn't until that point that we see how great our God is. God is consistent and that is an amazing thing! But in this realm, the one of sin in our life and hardships, it is a daunting thing. We see that we are the one that must change in order for things to be restored. We must come humbled and broken before an Almighty God to receive forgiveness. There are times that I wish that process of humbling myself was easier. I think we all do. But it is at that moment of being fully humbled that we see still that God has yet to change. He is still just as loving as before. His arms are still open and His love still ever-sustaining. He refines us. It's not the other way around and I'm thankful for that. It's because of that steady fact that I can rest in all other characteristics of God.

So do we have enough knowledge about our God to run to Him at all times and be changed? The good and the bad! But even more so, do we have enough faith to, not ask God to change the situation, but ask God to change us? He knows what is best. He knows that He is best. But do we know and accept that He is best?