Finally my first post of February! I'm excited, aren't you? :)

The beginning of February brings many special times for individuals and couples. For me, being single - and proud of it - the month of February brings the greatest spectacle in all of racing! The Daytona 500 will air February 14th. That date I have semi-patiently waited for over the off season and finally it is here! Then I glanced at my work schedule and saw that I work that day. Bummer, I thought. Oh well - there is always ESPN mobile to keep me up to date on that happenings of the race.

Now I would be a fool if I did not mention what else is happening on February 14th. To most Americans it is a day of spending time with the one you love. Of course it is Valentines D

ay! How could I forget?! On that day we are supposed to remember how special that certain person is to us and show them affection for all that they mean to us.

As mentioned above I am single and proud of it. So far in my life I have not found someone that I can see myself being with. Albeit a small issue or large - I just haven't found anyone and I am ok with that. I can turn my affections and love towards Someone better. Someone who I honestly know loves me. Someone who loves me with a type of love

that is not found here on earth. It is a supernatural love. A love that exceeds all of my needs and expectations. He will love me when I am unlovable and care for me when I least deserve it. But I will eventually talk more about that.

Jon, my brother, gave me a book called "Living the Cross Centered Life" (Keeping the Gospel the Main Thing) written my C.J. Mahaney. Now many of you all know that I used to hate to read. I never saw the benefit of it. I am the type of person that likes to be up and about, not sitting in one place reading words. But, God works in strange ways doesn't He! This book, along with "Dug Down Deep" have really changed my perspective on a lot of things.

I have always known that I am a sinner in need of redemption. However, I thought that Jesus came only to save me and live the perfect life because I was unable to do so. John 3:16 tells us that God loved the whole world (and me) so much that He sent His Son to die for the world (me). However there is so much more to that story than I originally thought. There is so much more for me to learn, and I realize that I am just beginning to grasp the amount of knowledge that I have to learn. But because God is so vast, this little piece seems so large to me and that is so awesome.

Mahaney's book has truly changed how I viewed the cross. How much do I look at it as it being beneficial to me as apposed to how much it cost my Savior and Lord? How much do I make of the cross so that it benefits me as apposed to how much, by the cross, can I make of my Lord and Redeemer.

Josh remembers going to a convention and hearing a man by the name of John Piper speak about the cross. His words stirred Josh heart and they have more than stirred mine. They have broken it. Piper said "Do you love the Cross because it makes much of you? Or do you love it because it enables you to enjoy an eternity making much of God?" Wow! What powerful and thought changing words. I have looked at the happens that took place on the cross as it all benefitting me. That is partially true, however it is so selfish.

Mahaney I believe hit it right on the head. Christ did not die for us because we were sinners, He died for us because of who He is. He is Merciful and therefor died for us. He endured something that He had never had to endure before - true and utter separation from His Father. (And because of that, we will never have to endure true separation from God while on this earth) He bore ALL of the sins of this world. He endured ALL of the wrath of God for sin during those three hours that He hung there. He didn't call for His angels to come save Him. He didn't save Himself but yet in doing so He saved us. He gave Himself up so that we might be given a chance to know God. He died for us because the very nature of who He is determined that He do so. I mean, think about it. List off all the facts that you know about who God is. He is Love, Grace, Mercy, Kindness, Patient, Forgiving and so so much more. Are not all of those, reasons He came to die and things that poured out of Him as the blood ran down His side? Yes, they are but there is another reason as well.

1 Peter 4:11 states that in ALL THINGS may God be glorified through Christ Jesus our Lord. Christ realized that ultimately through His death God will be glorified - that was of the upmost importance to Christ and that should be of upmost importance to us as well. God was glorified in the death of His Son and for as long as this earth is around that death will continue to glorify God. So I go back to what John Piper said, do I look at the cross for what I receive out of it? Or do I look at the cross as a chance to personally glorify my God because of what Christ did?

Even after all that I know of what Christ went through on the cross, both for me and for His Father, for some reason at times I doubt His love for me. Just because I do not feel His love at times does not give me the right to doubt it. Love, for me, WAS SHOWN on the Cross of Calvary. The picture that I have towards the beginning of this post is Golgotha, the mountain where Christ was slain. At that very place Christ was rejected by His Father, forsaken and slaughtered in the worst death ever recorded in history. There, on that mountainside everlasting love for me was shown. How could I ever doubt Christ's love for me? He has already proven it to me. The real thing is, do I accept it? His Love is real, I must accept it.

Looking forward to Valentines day I see what the world views as love. Candy, flowers, dinner and a movie and sex. That is what love is to the world. How horrible and selfish. For many people they believe that is true love and for a while - I believed it too. Oh how sad that makes me. I would believe in the worlds love before believing in Christ's love to me that is so much more abundant, as it was shown in His death. This Valentines Day I urge you to spend the day reflecting on the Never-Ending-Love shown for you on the cross of Calvary. Focus your attention on what and Who was slain on the day of Christ Crucifixion and never forget the Love that was shown. In return - that view should change our mission in life to solely Glorify God through Christ Jesus.

I have so much more to write on this and as times allows I will.

- Nathan

Thoughts about Scripture...

As I sit here in my favorite coffee shop reading Josh's book and thinking about what he says I am again awestruck at the beauty of nature. Sure, as I look out the window I see another building and a paved parking lot, but as I look further I see trees with a light dusting of snow on them. It is so beautiful and I cannot help but think about the Creator who created all of it. How He made each bush, tree, flower, animal and person. All so we could see His power and glory. I can't believe that there are people out there who do not believe in a Creator. How can they believe that this all just, happened?!

I have been many places in this country. From Colorado to Maryland. Each state is different and each state is beautiful. In each state God reveals something new about His mind and knowledge. To create 50 states differently is something to think about. But yet He created the whole world and universe different from each other. Every state, country, region, continent, and planet is different from each other. Yet it all works together through the power of it's Creator.

Then that got me thinking about how vast God is to everyone. He is the same God, yet different to everyone. He is a Comfort to some, a Rock, an Encourager, a Guide and so much more! Yes, He is all those things to everyone but some need certain powers more from Him at times. If God can create a world and universe that is so vast we cannot figure it all out in our lifetime than how much more is He personally?

Josh Harris points out in his book that Scripture is taken lightly and for granted a lot of times with Christians and in churches. We all say that we long to know our Redeemer more but only strive to live like Him. We never stop to learn about Him and know Him - acknowledging that out of what we know about Him comes everything! God has given us the tool needed to know Him as much as we humanly can. But yet we never dig into it to find out who God is.

I tried to think of an analogy to help explain what I am trying to say. So, I thought of my work and it's customers. For any of you who do not know where I work, I work at Hy-Vee Groceries in Raytown. About once a week we have a sale on certain items. A lot of times we have eggs and milk, chips, meat and cheese and such on sale. Stuff that we know people need to survive. I talked to one of my managers about sales one time and it always astonished her what people bought when the sales were going on. They only bought the sale items. They never give a thought to how much more items are in the store, or if they need them, they only pick up the items that are on sale. I cannot begin to say how many times I see the same people come in daily to pick up more items that they needed, but forgot about because they were only hunting for the products that were on sale.

How many times do we, Christians, read Scripture to hunt and find things that we need for that one day? But yet, we give no thought to the VAST amount of knowledge and goodness that we can receive by studying Scripture more! I have to be honest and say that often times I try to find verses and passages in Scripture that only help me with todays battle - or that make me feel good. Now, I understand that Scripture is there for that reason as well, but yet I never stopped to study Scripture with the thought of what else can I learn about my God.

I was talking with my dad and mom the other day and the thought of the power of Scripture hit me. Scripture is the Word of God!!!! He spoke it! Scripture through the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit, and through the example Christ Jesus is to us as believers, are the only tools we have to know God while on this earth. I never stopped to think that since the Bible is from God than it's knowledge must be infinite. I guess I knew that but it never sank in. I can never, ever!! study scripture to much. Just like I can never know everything there is to know about God the same applies to Scripture. Why then do I not study it more? God has given me Scripture, I have accepted the Holy Spirit into my heart, and with those two things I can begin to know my God.

I feel as if I am rambling a lot in this post so to try and sum things up I will say - Please understand that Scripture is given to us as along with the Holy Spirit so that we may know God. Sure, it has many life lessons in it on how to live our lives. But I believe that we should live our lives out of the knowledge we have of our God. Not necessarily by what people tells us to do. I know that we have laws that our nation and state has set forth. As well as bosses, and churches and such. Scripture tells us to obey those. So we should regardless. However, we should not define our morals, rules for our life, and goals off of what this world tells us we should. We should however study Scripture, ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten the passage we are studying to us, and get to know our God more out of our daily reading, meditation, and prayer. And out of that, will come how we will live our lives.

Stop looking to Scripture for just how to handle a certain situation (purchasing only certain items) and start looking to Scripture which is in one sense God (for it is His Word) for how to live our entire life.

Getting to know God...

This past Friday I went over to my brothers house for fellowship and, as I like to call it, a chill session. It was truly a break that I needed to escape the wonders of work and relax a bit with my bro and sis. After several hours of talking with them the conversation turned to spiritual things. Something that I had been dying to talk about. The Lord has shown me so much over the past month that I just had to talk to someone about it. That same reason is the reason I decided to start this blog. I mentioned to my brother of my need to get to know God not necessarily the Christian lifestyle. The Lord has been showing me that I know how to live the Christian life but yet I have no motives to do so.

What are those motives you may say? That is exactly my point. What is living a lifestyle, or doing anything for that matter, with no motives in mind? A waste of time. Am I trying to live my life like how a group of believers believe I should live, or how scripture tells me and knowing my God changes my daily living? My God, who is hopefully your God as well, is so vast in His glory and grace to even begin to comprehend in this earthly lifetime. But yet, He has given us so many tools to do so; to try. However many of us, myself included, do not strive enough to get to know our God. Yet, so many of us are trying so hard to not fail in light of our churches, or friends, that in the mean time we fail to get to know our God. Getting to know our God is the first step in living the way we should as a Christian and the foremost motive we should have as well.

[Inside note] Something that has come to my attention this past weekend, that truly cooked my noodle, is that we cannot see God's glory on this earth but we can begin to know it. Let me explain. Pastor Doug Brown, of Lee's Summit Community Church, mentioned that the glory we can see of God on earth is His character. Obviously we cannot see God's spiritual glory as we are not in heaven just yet. But, He has revealed Himself to us in manner of His character.[/Inside note]

So then, with that all being said if our goal is to live as a Christian SHOULD and God has given us the tools to do so. And He has revealed himself to us for a reason I do not understand, why then do we not strive to know Him more? I believe that so many of us Christians try our best to live as a Christian should, basing our actions – do's and don't's – off of what our church says. Now is that a wrong thing? Not necessarily, but I think we can do better.

Joshua Harris writes in his book: “Dug Down Deep” (Unearthing What I Believe and Why It Matters) that we should yearn to know God like we yearn to know our spouse. Now, I am not married at this point in my life, so the best I can relate to that statement is the night I received my first Apple Mac OSX computer. I torn into the box just waiting to hear the start-up sound of Apple's finest OS and the anticipation of logging onto my account and exploring all that Snow Leopard has to offer. After about a week or so I was still learning about this laptop – the one I am writing this blog on now – but yet there was so much more to know. I studied everything there was to know about it. All the menu's, key shortcuts, settings, powers and so on. Now, can I really relate knowing my God to knowing an Apple computer? I know the real answer is no. But for the sake of this blog, yes. Humbly I must say I yearned to know this computer more than I did my God. But yet in His grace He has knocked on my heart once again, wanting to show me all that He has in order for me. But I digress. Josh's statement of getting to know God like we will do/would our spouse is a very true statement. I know in the girls that I have liked in the past, everything they did I picked up on. Their hair, their eyes, their perfume – or lack thereof, what they thought about, how they thought and so on. But do I search, desire, yearn, pursue God to know Him like that? I'm afraid not – but that is changing. Josh's point is valid and heart wrenching as well.

We put so much effort, money, and time into knowing the person that we will hopefully spend the rest of our life with but put little effort into knowing the God who not only we will spend eternity with, but who also created us.

My brother lent me that book “Dug Down Deep” that will hopefully begin my journey of getting to know God, not just another religion, more deeply. I hope to write several more blogs on this book as I begin to wrap my head around all that Josh has to say. And also all that the Lord is teaching me through this book, meditating on His Word and the words of Josh's book.

Time has cut this blog off. But hopefully as I have three days in a row off this week I will be able to write more!

- Nathan

For our good?

As mentioned in my previous post the Romans 8:28 verse has been running through my mind for some time now. Just as a refresher course, to those that may have forgotten or to those who do not know what that verse says, here it is! "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Wow, what a verse to study. However, I fear that some of us may have the wrong perspective on this verse. I hope in this post to share what the Lord has been showing me through His Word and meditating on this verse.

Let me begin with saying that something has been bugging me when I was thinking on this verse. Many people have often read this verse and changed the words so that we, the human, receive the good from God. This of course meaning physical, wealth, health and other similar benefits. However that is not what the verse says. I hope through the three questions that I will raise - and hopefully answer - you will begin to see what I mean.

At the end of my last blog I ended it with three questions - what is good, have we already found it, and are we willing to pay the price so that the 'good' is reached in our lives. I believe before figure out if we have already found the good for our lives - at least the good that is being talked about in this verse - we first need to think about what good is.

Throughout many verses in Scripture, it is plainly laid out that there is no good within us. It goes on to say that all of our works are as dirty rags. So, that got me thinking. If there is no good within me - then what does this verse mean. What is this good that God will work everything out for?

The good that the verse is talking about is Christ. God will work everything in our life out for the good of Christ and the continuation of Christ work in our life and also the work of refinement of our Christ-likeness. The initial thought that popped into my head was "so then everything won't work out for my benefit?" What a selfish thought. The best thing that could ever happen to anyone is their acceptance of Christ into their life. The best thing that ever happened to me is Christ. Without him the whole human race, myself included, is lost and hopeless. But the more I thought the more questions popped into my head.

What does it mean that God will work everything out for the benefit of Christ and His work? Once someone is redeemed, through the blood shed by Christ in place of us on the cross, our true life and work has just begun. God, through His supreme command and sovereignty, allows all things to work out for the furtherance of the Gospel and also for the furtherance of our Christ-likeness. Which when you think about it is the ultimate 'good' in any redeemed persons life. I believe God has put us on this planet to do three things. Share the Gospel, become more like Christ and ultimately for God/Christ to receive all the honor and glory due to Him. We must look at every circumstance as an opportunity to grow in Christ and to use that situation as a refining tool in our walk with God. God does not allow things to happen to us that does not have some eternal reason behind it. God does not teach us about stuff that will only benefit us here on earth. All things He does is to benefit us in both time here on earth and time in Heaven.

The more I grow up, and the more I grow in Christ the more I begin to think about my actions in the light of eternity. Am I being a hinderance to God's plan of goodness in peoples lives? Am I being an open pipe for Christ's work to be poured out, without restriction, to those around me? Must like that of the above paragraph we must look at everything through the eyes of Christ and make our decisions based on what we know about God by searching His Word and also what we know about God by what we have learned by talking and walking with Him.

The second question I raised in my first post was that of, have we already found this 'good' in our life? Let me get one thing straight, I believe that ultimately the true good in everyone's life is not finished until the day of Christ's return. So, we as Christians must constantly strive to be as open as possible for Christ to work through us to further His Gospel; through that we learn more about Christ and further our walk in Christ to become more Christ-like. However that journey and walk is not always an easy journey.

My third and final question raised in my previous blog was are we willing to pay the price so that others may come to know the good God has for them and for others. Once saved it is our mission as laid out in Matthew 28:19-20 to "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you." We must first understand that the only true good for other people is first the acceptance of Jesus Christ. Without this step, all other work, words, choices, moves and doings that one would do will be in vain. I arrive at this belief because of what is laid out in scripture and also because of what I have discussed previously in this post - we have no good within us. Then, after we have first accepted Christ we must do as instructed to us in Matthew 28 which is to teach all nations and share the amazing gift of salvation with others. Thusly continuing Christ's work on this earth until the day of His return.

Furthermore I want to stress that as mentioned above, teaching all nations, sharing with others and laying our faith out on the line for others to see will not always be an easy time. In God's Word, He has told us to be ready for persecution for His name sake. However, the things we learn about God - be it His grace, love, compassion, sovereignty and many other things far out weighs the trials we are facing. The big questions is, do we honestly look at every situation as an opportunity to learn those things? Do we look at every situation as a chance to become more Christ-like? Do we look at every situation to learn how to better share the 'good' God has laid out for everyone? Those previous questions are truly humbling to me. Because, if I may be honest, I almost never look at a situation like that. But yet God is still standing with me holding out His hands of grace and forgiveness. Waiting for me to come to the realization of what is truly important about a situation in light of eternity.

I guess to sum everything up - the main thing I wanted to say was, the good Paul is referring to in this passage is our becoming more like Christ and others coming to Christ. What other hope and good is there for people? None.

I am sorry if this seems all confusing to you. I cannot seem to quite put into words what is pouring out of my heart about this verse. Please feel free to email me if you all have any questions or comments about this.

Now it is time to go to bed and think about how to describe what my next post will be covering. Which will be what the Lord is showing me about His Will.

Until next time!

Nathan

So much running through my mind...

First off, thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I know there are millions of other things that you could be reading at this point. Yet, you have picked my blog to read. So to all of you - thank you. Let me first explain where I am coming from and why I decided to start this blog.

For many years now, I have struggled with some very difficult thoughts, actions and circumstances. Yet, with little success, I have tried to find and outing for all my thoughts. Then after much talk about blogging with my good friend (and co-worker), Jason, I have been convinced that I should start a blog.

Looking back through the past few years I would have never pictured myself as a blogger but, as the times change - so do we! As stated in my "About Me" section my intentions for this blog is not to ramble about little things but yet things that are close to my heart. Those things that are getting ready to burst from my spirit and those things that I cannot hold-in any longer. I hope that in no way to offend anyone. Day to day we learn new things and struggle with the old things. We all have ups and downs and I hope to be as transparent as needed for you, the reader, to see my heart and the goals for this blog.

So, as I think of how to pour out my heart in the next blog post, I leave you all with a thought that I cannot seem to get out of my mind. It has been running over and over through my head since 2am this morning and that thought is verse Romans 8:28 - a verse that many of you know, as it simply states that ALL things work together for good. But what is "good"? Can we find it? Have we already found it and are we willing to pay the price so that the "good" is reached in our lives.

Nathan